Fitba Crazy

You aa know ma wee brither,
His name is Jock McGraw
He’s lately jined a fitba club
For he’s mad aboot fitba
He has two black eyes already
And teeth lost fae his gub,
Since Jock became a member of that terrible fitba club

For he’s fitba crazy
He’s fitba mad
The fitba it has robbed him
O’ the little bit o’ sense he had
And it would take a dozen skivvies
His claes tae wash and scrub
Since Jock became a member
O’ that terrible fitba club

The first game he took part in
I was there masel and saw
There were jaikets for the goalposts
And a tin can for the ba’
The Prince o’ Wales was there himsel
In his dinner suit
Jock he passed the ball across
And shouted ‘CHARLIE SHOOT!’